I got back to work a whole 2 days before the Farmers, and most of the Suppliers, so I have a lovely time, tidying up my e-mails, going down the Cheese Order list, looking at the Cheese Order forecast for what should be coming up, and I am prepared and calm. I write neat lists in my diary and type away on my new shiny laptop. I'm so pleased to have one that fits my paws.
When I last went to Sweden, for the Big Meeting, we decided to hold the Big Meeting every month and that it would be a jolly useful forum to discuss Cheese Orders - both current and the ones coming up. The Suppliers who keep the cows for the milk for the cheese, and the Suppliers who do the packaging would both come, and the Nice Lady who is the independent body Cheese Integrator would come. The Rare Beast would come (he is now the Supplier with the Cows - remember?). All of the farmers would attend - the ones who supply the restaurants, the ones who supply the farm shops, and even the really big wholesale ones, so that we could really understand the cheese requirements in plenty of time and get them ordered.
So, it was agreed. It was written down and everything.
So I set up the meeting. I invited all of the people I needed to invite. I booked a big meeting room. I planned the flights.
And then I got an e-mail from the Chief Farmer:-
From:-Chief Farmer
To:- Mouse
Subject:- Cheese Delivery Meeting
Dear Mouse,
What is this meeting? Who told you to set it up?
Farmer.
My reply:-
From:- Mouse
To:- Chief Farmer
Subject:- Re: Cheese Delivery Meeting
Hello Mr. Farmer Sir,
It is the meeting we agreed on at the Big Meeting. It was written down. It is about managing the Cheese Orders.
Mouse.
And then...
From:- Chief Farmer
To:- Mouse
Subject:- Re: re: Cheese Delivery Meeting
Dear Mouse,
Please cancel this meeting. I will set one up.
Farmer.
I was a little bemused by this, as in the writing down of the original Big Meeting it clearly said:-
Arrange regular Big Meetings - MOUSE.
So - nothing happens for the remainder of the time before Christmas. This week I get a call from one of the Suppliers with the cows asking me if the Big Meeting is happening. I explain the situation. A short while later he calls me back. The meetings have been arranged. He is not invited. I am not invited. The Nice Lady from the Cheese Integration Board is not invited. My bosses boss has been invited! The Nice Lady's bosses boss has been invited! The Rare Beast has been invited! A man who has left the company has been invited!
So the meeting planned by the people who own the end to end Cheese Ordering process, who should attend, are not invited, but a random gaggle of people at the wrong level to be effective, but are nevertheless VERY IMPORTANT are invited.
I think I may give up.
And then, from another area, I get a call this morning. 'Mouse - I need to order some Cheese. I need a specialist blend of Cheese for a huge order, which will span the globe. I have promised that we will use a special blend of herbs from a 3rd Party Supplier and the Milk and Packaging Suppliers must incorporate this into production. I haven't written the requirements yet. We need the cheese in 4 weeks.
Repetitively yours,
Mouse x
