One of the interesting things about working with my Farmer customers who are based in different countries is that I get to work in different timezones. This is good because I was never a 9-5 Mouse. Because of this I often work at home, settling myself into my desk just as the birds are chirping into life outside, snuggled in my dressing gown, coffee in paw. Unfortunately this can mean, if it's a very busy day of telephone calls and conferences, that I am still snuggled in my dressing gown as the mid-day sun is streaming through the skylights (or more usually, the rain is beating down), the coffee has gone cold and the birds have long since disappeared to their daily adventures. Once, one of my Quality Control colleagues - the ones who check the Cheese orders and offers to ensure that the cheese is compliant with European Taste and Texture standards, tried to dial me into a video conference. There was I, with bird's nest fur, wrapped in a terry towelling garment that had seen better days, at risk of exposure to an entire office full of tick-box health-and-safety types who would, I envisage, take one look at my bedraggled state and send Social Services round to monitor me as I clearly cannot look after myself. I am now meticulous and making sure that the webcam isn't on (and I sometimes stick one of my boss Edie's stickers over the little camera. That'll fox 'em.
Anyway, I had to attend one such call on Monday morning at 7.30. Being a diligent Mouse, and as my colleague from the Cheese Operational Integration Board was also attending, I decided to go into the office. I wore my new red business outfit (do you like it? The picture doesn't do it justice.)and tiptoed into the silent office at 7am to prepare.
Did you know that you can't even get a decent cup of coffee in my office at 7am? Yes you can get the bitter, brown, weak excuse for coffee from the free coffee machines, but not the proper stuff. However, I happened to walk into the building at the same time as the Catering Manager so a little smile, a cheery 'Good Morning', a compliment, 'Oh you won your badminton match? well done', and a little cough, smile 'what time does your coffee machine go on?' accompanied by a desperate look (I didn't have to act this, it comes naturally at that time in the morning), and he switched it on early for me.
The proverbial Cup of Ambition clutched in paw, I set up the meeting room. Laptop? check. Remote connectivity on wireless? Not working. Find a wire and plug it in? Check. Phone on? Check.
By and by, in wanders my Operational Cheese Board colleague, bleary eyed and still shuffling somewhat with the shock of the early encounter. I do the decent thing and fetch her a coffee while she plugs herself in.
We dial in. The Farmers are all there, discussing their Cheese Orders. All of the Cheese Orders appear to be the Most Important Cheese Orders, but this we are used to. The meetings are definitely getting better. The Farmers are more used to the process and we are there to speak for ourselves and manage expectations (i.e. make sure that everything is not just blamed on the Cheese Suppliers)and we roll forward nicely. Then the Farmers decide to have a coffee break.
So, there are the Operational Cheese Board lady and myself, having struggled in at an indecent hour, listening to the sound of clanking crockery, the stirring of coffee and the dunking of biscuits, and much chatter. All in Swedish. We imagine that they have a table full of lovely delicacies, Danish Pastries from just over the bridge, Cheese, Biscuits... Having actually attended these meetings on many occasion I know this is just fantasy, but we have missed breakfast you see, and the poor Farmers are probably having to listen to the rumbling of our tummies across the telephone line.
All too soon the conference is over and I pack up my laptop, diary, pens and wires and return to my desk, just as the other colleagues are starting to drift in. I arrive just in time to do a full days work. I fell like I have done a full days work already*
*I have.
So I settle down, set up and get ready for the next call of the day.
But not before returning to the Canteen to see my friend, the Canteen Manager, and stock up on more coffee and some breakfast. I wonder if they do a good Cheese on Toast...?
Yours Tiredly,
Mouse xx
You might be surprised to hear this, but even I, Miss Mouse,am not invincible. I have been ill. Yes. Ill.
It started with a tummy bug. I went to a party with a few of my friends, and one of them, naughty Piggy, came to the party with a bad tummy bug and didn't tell anyone. All of us caught it. Everyone got better. I didn't.
I went to the doctor who gave me some pills, designed and prescribed, to cure all my ills - oops - sorry - must concentrate on telling the story - anyway - they didn't.
During this time I limped along. I went to Denmark, Copenhagen to be exact, to visit some more farmers to discuss a large Cheese order. I had long wanted to visit Copenhagen but thanks to a horrid hotel and my poor tummy and the horrible way the prescribed tablets made me feel, it wasn't an enjoyable trip. The Farmers were very good and excellent at planning, and they laid on lots of Danish Pastries, which, on a better day, I would have devoured, but on this occasion I could only stumble delicately from Boardroom to Bedroom, via the loo, trying to get through each hour without turning green and being sick. Or worse.
I went to the Big Hospital to see the Chief Doctor and she sent me to hospital. Immediately. Do Not Pass Go. Do Not Collect Cheese Orders. Oh the loss of control! But I was too weak to fight. I sent the required e-mails to let my team know, switched off my phone, and succumbed to the world of intravaeneous steroids, fluids and antibiotics for 5 days. Not to mention hospital food.
Eventually I was allowed home. I called my boss. 'Hello, it's Mouse. I will be off for the rest of the week, and I will be back on Monday', I squeaked, pathetically. The drugs were, in turn, squeezing and expanding my head, dragging me into sleep and, very delicately and slowly, repairing the damage to my little furry body. 'Ok Mouse. By the way, ignore the message I sent to you on Wednesday. I have the answer now.'
Message? So while I am in my hospital bed my boss is leaving me work calls. Inevitable I suppose. Anyway... I went back to work.
And then a complication. I won't go into the delicate details but I ended up back in the Big Hospital, with a big fat General Anaesthetic in my paw while a horrid surgeon with a scalpel made a few tweaks to my physique. Three more days in hospital and a very delicate time afterwards having my war wounds dressed. This is ongoing and I am not allowed to travel. Try explaining THIS to the Farmers though. There is one particular Farmer who ALWAYS places late Cheese Orders who is neither amused nor understanding about this situation. 'I want you to come and explain to my team what you do, Mouse and how you can speed up the Cheese Orders' she demands. I sigh. And once again, remind her to get her Cheese orders in clearly and early. And of the presentation on how Cheese Orders work, that I and the Cheese Delivery Board showed to her. And of the fact that we have a weekly planning Telco. And that we are all there to work together to ensure timely Cheese delivery.
And then I remind myself that some things cannot be changed. And that worrying about it will not be helpful to a half poorly Mouse. And that rest and sleep are good. And that travel will happen soon enough. In a few weeks I will be able to go back to lovely Sweden and Denmark and enjoy the experience. And choose a better hotel.
So look after yourselves, people. Doing your best is the best thing you can do. But we can't fix the world and sometimes, trying to do that, means it is us who have to be fixed.
Delicately Yours,
Mouse xx
