A Mouse outside of the Rat Race...

My days used to have a routine to them.  They still have a routine to them.  But I have to tell you this: this routine is nicer.

I never quite know how I will settle in to 'doing nothing' as I'm usually such a busy Mouse, but they way to properly deal with it is not to 'do nothing'.  On the contrary.  I have been a very busy Mouse indeed doing... nice things.  Although I'm no longer a travelling Mouse, I still have my small boss, Edie, who of course gives me rather a lot of jobs to do.  One of those jobs has been to meet Edie at her school every day and walk home with her.  Instead of complaining at me, like the Farmers and the Cheese Manufacturers did, Edie throws herself at me for a hug, which I have to say is a joy.  I've been clearing out cupboards, making a wood pile for the many, many cosy log fires I've had, scribbling in my diary and painting pictures.  And I've also been meeting some of the 'day creatures' - the creatures who are not in the Rat Race and who do different things during the day. 

One of the things these day creatures like to do is to meet up for coffee, which I brew in my special little Swedish coffee pot on top of the stove.  But how odd they are.  Very different from the Rat Race creatures.  For a start, they don't seem to hear very well.  A typical conversation will be:-

Me: 'Oh hello, Owl, thank you for coming round. Would you like some coffee?'
Owl: 'Oh yes please, Mouse. How are you enjoying your time off?'
Me: 'Oh, it's lovely thank you, Owl.  I've been...'
Owl: 'Yes, well, let me tell you about Squirrel. You don't know Squirrel but he caused a lot of trouble last year, you see, he moved into this area of the forest and built himself a nut store, but you see he didn't ask Donkey, and you know Donkey has lived here for many years.'
Me: 'Oh - who is Donkey?'
Owl: 'And then I didn't tell you, did I? I went away at the weekend with Mr. Owl.  We went to the seaside. We had some chips.  We love chips...'

And so it goes on.  After about 3 hours, Owl, realising that there is no more coffee, decides to get up and go home.  I am utterly perplexed.  My head is now full of information about all sorts of creatures who I do not know and I have spoken approximately three sentences, one of which was to excuse myself for a wee.  Please excuse me telling you this but that is the other thing about these 'coffee meetings', you know, liquid in can only be liquid in for so long. I still do not know who Donkey is and why Squirrel building a nut store is such a problem but an odd thing happens.  I start to think about this Squirrel and what he has done to poor Owl (even though I do not properly understand it) and I start to form opinions, based only on Owl's opinion.  I pinch myself hard when I catch myself doing this, I can tell you!  You can't base an opinion on what somebody else tells you?  can you?

Anyway, I can tell you, because you are lovely and you never interrupt, or make me drink too much coffee, so, I've been nesting in my nest, taking care of my small boss, Edie, I've been swimming lots - very relaxing, and thinking about what I might do next.  But I'm not thinking about that TOO hard just yet.

Oh - and I find I'm already losing my work skills.  Like the skill of drinking wine.  When you are a Travelling Mouse you find yourself in all sorts of situations where you have to eat out with work friends and colleagues, and of course it is only polite to drink wine with dinner.  I have never had a problem with this and was as professional a wine drinker as a Cheese negotiator.  Anyway, I went out recently for no other reason than fun, and discovered by my wobbly paws that I need to practice my wine drinking.  My fur was quite fuzzy the next day I can tell you.  

And the oddest thing - I've gone off cheese...

Happily yours,
Mouse xx

Reflections...

Hello. Yes.  It's me.  I'm still here.  

So why have I been so quiet, you ask? (Go on then, ask!)  Well, it's been a bit of a whirlwind for the past few months.  Not only was I continuing my international jet setting with the Cheese Orders in Sweden, I was also looking after the UK Cheese Orders.  All of this kept me extremely busy.  Not because of all the cheese that kept being delivered, but because I had to manage all of the reasons for why the cheese was not being delivered on time to two different geographical areas.  It taught me one thing, the complexities of cheese ordering and the delivering of actual cheese is difficult on a global basis. There is no one, particular reason for this but all of the factors put together - the late orders, the difficulty in raising the paperwork to order cheese, the two different production partners in the cheese making process, the difficulty in understanding cheese requirements, the production partners not actually having any cheese ingredients in stock (having now outsourced the cows themselves, to Indian and Bulgarian dairy farms), the lack of production partner staff to wrap the cheese and the lack of any actual cheese distribution means that having a cheese sandwich on the date you have promised your hungry customers you will have one is pretty much impossible. It didn't help matters that the Rare Beast moved into Cheese Production so the standard answer would always come back as 'NO'.  I give up.

And I did give up.  Literally.  I carried on and gave it my best but it was clear that one little mouse couldn't knit the whole thing back together again with goodwill and wishes alone.  So I have passed the Cheese Production Order Monitoring on to someone else.  I  used to work with her before, in my crime fighting days and I think she will be awesome.  Here we are doing our handover.  I think she will kick some ass although I do worry that she might set a few airport monitors off.

So, what next for Mouse? I think it's time to think. To sit back and remind myself of who I am. Me. Mouse.  So to that end I have changed the title of this little memoir to 'Resting Mouse' - for now - and I've changed the look of it a bit.  What do you think?

Stay tuned for news of my 'resting' adventures.  Although I don't think I'll rest very much.  Do you?

Yours relax-ed-ly,

Mouse xx

The Clangers...

Although my official Job Title is 'Travelling Mouse', the 'travelling' bit doesn't just refer to the hopping on and off of planes, trans and roller skates.  What I mean is that I have t be flexible.  

I don't mean attending yoga classes three times a weeks.  I have the technology (when it works) to work from just about anywhere.

Of course this has it's advantages, especially during the recent hot weather, when I have worked many a morning from my garden with a pot of fresh coffee at my paw.  This does mean that I have to remember to press the 'mute' button when attending conference calls before someone asks where the bird noises are coming from.

At the moment however I have limited technology.  I usually access my e-mail and applications using a device that looks like a USB stick (or a kind of red cockroach with a metal bit at the end, for the non technically savvy among you) that plugs into my laptop and connects via smoke, mirrors and my portable wifi to the world of Cheese orders.  Last week I was in the middle of a conference call when a message flashed up on the screen: 'Connection Lost', and the fascinating presentation on Cheese Production I had been engaged in disappeared from my screen. A quick investigation (me looking at the USB port at the back of my laptop) revealed that the USB (metal bit) part was still firmly intact in the port. However the 'stick' (cockroach) bit was on the desk.  Two years worth of travelling and transporting of the device in various bags, suitcases and pockets had taken it's toll.  The device was broken beyond repair.

So, while I wait for a new device, which of course had to be ordered by a many stepped and laborious application and approval process, I am limited in my flexibility.  I can still do a perfect back bend but actually connecting to anything useful via my laptop is a distant memory, so I have to be creative.

This morning, for example, I had an appointment and a one hundred  and fifty nine page document detailing the various responsibilities of the Cheese Producers, the Wrapping and Packaging Suppliers, the Cheese Integrators and the Farmers themselves to review.  My appointment was far from the office and close to a well known coffee shop and, well, I hadn't had any breakfast, so I went in, ordered a strong coffee and a muffin (for brain power) and settled into a nice quiet corner seat to review the massive manuscript.

Thirty eight pages in (it is very complicated and I have to read it very slowly) and two gentlemen appear nearby.  They are speaking in a language that my mouse ears do not understand but they are carrying a very large box.  My whiskers twitch in uncomfortable anticipation.

The gentlemen go over to two large, comfortable looking chairs in the opposite corner and I breath a sigh of relief and return to the complexities of the Cheese outsourcing manual.  Two minutes later they reappear, carrying the two large chairs between them. I nearly fall off mine.  What are they doing?

The large box is opened.  It contains a hammer and a drill.  They proceed to tip the comfortable looking chairs upside down, drill out the bolts holding them together and hammer every metal part of them.  Hard. Two feet away from my sensitive mouse ears. Clang. Clang. Clang.  All the time they work, they jabber away in the strange language.  Well, flexible I may be, but there is a limit.  If I want constant noise, interruption and incomprehensible chit chat I can work from the office.  I glance at my plate - the muffin is a distant memory and the coffee now cold, so I pack up my documents and the office is exactly where I head.

My ears are still ringing.

Mouse xx

Everything is blurry...

Hoorah!  I can go travelling again and a-travelling I will go.  In fact I did go.  This week.  

So, Monday morning found me at Birmingham Airport, at my usual table, in my usual coffee shop, tapping away at my keyboard and setting up the business meetings and notes I would need for my latest visit to Sweden.  Tap, tap, tap, actions all done, paperwork all read and understood, presentation material all ship-shape.  I looked up at the flight information board - flight delayed by one hour.  Sigh.  Tap, tap, tap, rearrange all the meetings I had set up for that afternoon. 

On the plane I like nothing more than to settle down with a good book.  If the plane is empty and I have a whole row to myself (hooray!) I like to do some work but if you are literally paw-to-elbow with your commuting neighbour I don't like to work because:-

• They might elbow me and spill coffee on my keyboard
• I might elbow them (and they will probably be bigger than me)
• They might read what I am writing and sell the information to a rival Cheese company
• It is a nuisance having to say 'excuse me please' every five minutes in order to get out / put away the laptop

Anyway, on this occasion the flight was full.  I pulled out my book (Of Mice and Men - it's not what I expected it to be about - there aren't that many mice in it) and reached into my flight bag for my reading / working glasses.

They were not there.

I rummaged around a bit further.  No.  Definitely not there.  I put the book away and had a think. Maybe the glasses were playing that game. You know the one, where you search for something, it's not there, you check again and again, not there, and then you check later and there it is and was all along. I decided to check again at the hotel and settled down to the business of a small sleep.

I like the hotel I stay in. I stay in the same place regularly as they have a nice breakfast, and in the evening they put on 'a light buffet'.  Well, it's light if you are an elephant maybe, but to a small Mouse it's a feast! They also have pots of coffee out all day and all night, and very often cakes too!  This time, however, I think they mistook my request for a room, for a request for a small cupboard.  The bed was comfy but it nearly touched the wall on all sides.  There was a small desk, that could easily double up as a shelf, a small wardrobe and a bathroom.

I set the laptop up on the shelf desk and proceeded to empty the contents of my flight back onto the bed: three international power adapters, several pens, copies of Cheese orders, sunglasses (good - I like to look stylish), a USB plug, several USB charger cables (see how efficient that is? one plug and many cables that fit? Perfect until I need to charge two things at the same time), tissues (new), tissues (used - ugh), screwed up tickets and boarding cards and a small pack of emergency snacks.  No reading / working glasses.

For that afternoon I had calls to make - not so much of a problem.  I sat on the chair (did I forget to mention that there was a chair rammed into the minute space between the bed and the shelf desk?) and peered at the screen to find the numbers to call. 

The screen was covered in a number of fuzzy squiggles. I pushed the laptop forward. I pushed the chair back. I leaned back and squinted, putting my paw over each digit in the telephone number as I squinted and reading them out like a child. 7,7,3,4,8,no,0,no,8,no,3.  It was no use. I dialled a few numbers, apologized to a few people for disturbing their afternoon and listened to a few 'not listed' tones until I finally had a brainwave! I used the cut and past facility to copy the number and paste it into a Word document, then increased the font size to large. Much better.  I was able to do the calls!

For the remainder of the trip, improvisation was the key word.  During presentations I was able to read the large text on the projector screen, but writing notes in my diary was more of a challenge.  I found myself listening double hard, to make up for being visually challenged and it made me realise what a visual Mouse I am, relying on pictures, expressions and body language to make sense of at least half of the stories my customers tell me. I also stopped glancing at e-mail during meetings, a bad habit and also rude to the person I am speaking to, but something I notice we all do.

In the evenings I was not able to pass the time reading, or playing games on my iPad and so I went to bed early, or went for a walk. Many, many times I went to reach for my glasses as I picked up my mobile phone, or I would go to switch on my laptop in the evening and 'just catch up on e-mails', both very bad habits really.  The loss of my specs forced me to be just a Mouse and not a Cheese-ordering-problem-solving-requirements-gathering-expectations-managing Mouse for once.

The visit was over far too soon and there were several of my favourite Miss Mooses on my catch up list who I never got to see (this time), and it was time to set off and claim my glasses from Birmingham Airport Lost Property.  I got up at the unearthly hour of 5.30am Swedish time, in order to get home for mid-day UK time so that I could attend some more calls.  However, luck was not on my side.  As I printed my boarding pass I squinted at the blurry lines.  Two blurry lines and two blurry seat numbers.  I could just about make out the word 'Frankfurt'.  I ran over to the SAS desk as fast as my paws would carry me.  There were rather a lot of people there, complaining that they had been diverted.  The red face man behind the glass looked flustered and uncomfortable. The flight to Birmingham had been cancelled and we were all being ferried home by various double hop routes.

Oh well. I like airports and I don't mind delays too much.  A few calls and my meetings were rescheduled. At least I could settle down and read a magazine. Oh - hang on, no, I can't do that either.

So I did what a Mouse does best.  Breakfast in Sweden. Second breakfast in Denmark. Lunch in Germany.  Dinner back home in the UK.  With a few snacks in between thrown in for good measure.

When I finally arrived back at Birmingham, I made my way up to Lost Property and there were my glasses, waiting safely and soundly for me.  I put them on and the world became a clearer, sharper place. I checked my mobile phone, my texts, my e-mail, Facebook, Twitter, the news sites and the gossip sites.  I was up to speed, informed and with a head full of useless facts and time wasting information that I had managed to live without for the past three days, which leads me to think that although it's great to be informed, to have information at our paw tips and able to communicate with friends, family and colleagues all over the world in an instant, sometimes a blurry world is the healthier option.

Fuzzily yours,

Mouse xx

Rise and Shine...

One of the interesting things about working with my Farmer customers who are based in different countries is that I get to work in different timezones.  This is good because I was never a 9-5 Mouse.  Because of this I often work at home, settling myself into my desk just as the birds are chirping into life outside, snuggled in my dressing gown, coffee in paw.  Unfortunately this can mean, if it's a very busy day of telephone calls and conferences, that I am still snuggled in my dressing gown as the mid-day sun is streaming through the skylights (or more usually, the rain is beating down), the coffee has gone cold and the birds have long since disappeared to their daily adventures.  Once, one of my Quality Control colleagues - the ones who check the Cheese orders and offers to ensure that the cheese is compliant with European Taste and Texture standards, tried to dial me into a video conference.  There was I, with bird's nest fur, wrapped in a terry towelling garment that had seen better days, at risk of exposure to an entire office full of tick-box health-and-safety types who would, I envisage, take one look at my bedraggled state and send Social Services round to monitor me as I clearly cannot look after myself.  I am now meticulous and making sure that the webcam isn't on (and I sometimes stick one of my boss Edie's stickers over the little camera.  That'll fox 'em.

Anyway, I had to attend one such call on Monday morning at 7.30. Being a diligent Mouse, and as my colleague from the Cheese Operational Integration Board was also attending, I decided to go into the office.  I wore my new red business outfit (do you like it? The picture doesn't do it justice.)and tiptoed into the silent office at 7am to prepare.

Did you know that you can't even get a decent cup of coffee in  my office at 7am? Yes you can get the bitter, brown, weak excuse for coffee from the free coffee machines, but not the proper stuff.  However, I happened to walk into the building at the same time as the Catering Manager so a little smile, a cheery 'Good Morning', a compliment, 'Oh you won your badminton match? well done', and a little cough, smile 'what time does your coffee machine go on?' accompanied by a desperate look (I didn't have to act this, it comes naturally at that time in the morning), and he switched it on early for me.  

The proverbial Cup of Ambition clutched in paw, I set up the meeting room.  Laptop? check. Remote connectivity on wireless? Not working.  Find a wire and plug it in? Check. Phone on? Check.

By and by, in wanders my Operational Cheese Board colleague, bleary eyed and still shuffling somewhat with the shock of the early encounter. I do the decent thing and fetch her a coffee while she plugs herself in.

We dial in.  The Farmers are all there, discussing their Cheese Orders. All of the Cheese Orders appear to be the Most Important Cheese Orders, but this we are used to.  The meetings are definitely getting better.  The Farmers are more used to the process and we are there to speak for ourselves and manage expectations (i.e. make sure that everything is not just blamed on the Cheese Suppliers)and we roll forward nicely.  Then the Farmers decide to have a coffee break.

So, there are the Operational Cheese Board lady and myself, having struggled in at an indecent hour, listening to the sound of clanking crockery, the stirring of coffee and the dunking of biscuits, and much chatter.  All in Swedish. We imagine that they have a table full of lovely delicacies, Danish Pastries from just over the bridge, Cheese, Biscuits... Having actually attended these meetings on many occasion I know this is just fantasy, but we have missed breakfast you see, and the poor Farmers are probably having to listen to the rumbling of our tummies across the telephone line.

All too soon the conference is over and I pack up my laptop, diary, pens and wires and return to my desk, just as the other colleagues are starting to drift in. I arrive just in time to do a full days work.  I fell like I have done a full days work already*

*I have.

So I settle down, set up and get ready for the next call of the day.

But not before returning to the Canteen to see my friend, the Canteen Manager, and stock up on more coffee and some breakfast. I wonder if they do a good Cheese on Toast...?

Yours Tiredly,
Mouse xx

Take it Easy, Mouse...?

You might be surprised to hear this, but even I, Miss Mouse,am not invincible.  I have been ill.  Yes. Ill.

It started with a tummy bug.  I went to a party with a few of my friends, and one of them, naughty Piggy, came to the party with a bad tummy bug and didn't tell anyone. All of us caught it.  Everyone got better.  I didn't.

I went to the doctor who gave me some pills, designed and prescribed, to cure all my ills - oops - sorry - must concentrate on telling the story - anyway - they didn't.

During this time I limped along. I went to Denmark, Copenhagen to be exact, to visit some more farmers to discuss a large Cheese order.  I had long wanted to visit Copenhagen but thanks to a horrid hotel and my poor tummy and the horrible way the prescribed tablets made me feel, it wasn't an enjoyable trip.  The Farmers were very good and excellent at planning, and they laid on lots of Danish Pastries, which, on a better day, I would have devoured, but on this occasion I could only stumble delicately from Boardroom to Bedroom, via the loo, trying to get through each hour without turning green and being sick.  Or worse.

I went to the Big Hospital to see the Chief Doctor and she sent me to hospital.  Immediately.  Do Not Pass Go.  Do Not Collect Cheese Orders.  Oh the loss of control! But I was too weak to fight.  I sent the required e-mails to let my team know, switched off my phone, and succumbed to the world of intravaeneous steroids, fluids and antibiotics for 5 days.  Not to mention hospital food.

Eventually I was allowed home. I called my boss. 'Hello, it's Mouse. I will be off for the rest of the week, and I will be back on Monday', I squeaked, pathetically. The drugs were, in turn, squeezing and expanding my head, dragging me into sleep and, very delicately and slowly, repairing the damage to my little furry body. 'Ok Mouse. By the way, ignore the message I sent to you on Wednesday. I have the answer now.'

Message? So while I am in my hospital bed my boss is leaving me work calls. Inevitable I suppose.  Anyway... I went back to work.

And then a complication. I won't go into the delicate details but I ended up back in the Big Hospital, with a big fat General Anaesthetic in my paw while a horrid surgeon with a scalpel made a few tweaks to my physique. Three more days in hospital and a very delicate time afterwards having my war wounds dressed. This is ongoing and I am not allowed to travel. Try explaining THIS to the Farmers though. There is one particular Farmer who ALWAYS places late Cheese Orders who is neither amused nor understanding about this situation. 'I want you to come and explain to my team what you do, Mouse and how you can speed up the Cheese Orders' she demands.  I sigh. And once again, remind her to get her Cheese orders in clearly and early. And of the presentation on how Cheese Orders work, that I and the Cheese Delivery Board showed to her. And of the fact that we have a weekly planning Telco. And that we are all there to work together to ensure timely Cheese delivery.

And then I remind myself that some things cannot be changed. And that worrying about it will not be helpful to a half poorly Mouse. And that rest and sleep are good.  And that travel will happen soon enough.  In a few weeks I will be able to go back to lovely Sweden and Denmark and enjoy the experience. And choose a better hotel. 

So look after yourselves, people. Doing your best is the best thing you can do. But we can't fix the world and sometimes, trying to do that, means it is us who have to be fixed.

Delicately Yours,
Mouse xx

The Way We Work...

Morning!

Thank goodness for coffee eh? 

Well, here I am, at the airport. Again.  It's 8am and I've been up since 5am.  Well, a girl has to make sure her fur looks good before travelling you know.  Anyway, as I sit here with my Super Large Coffee, I've been contemplating travel and the journey to work.

When I started out my career as an Office Junior Mouse back in... well, let's not give any dates away, but it was more than a few weeks back, if you know what I mean, well anyway, I used to get the bus into the office every morning.  I was often late as I hated that bus and that office junior job come to that.  I would clonk over the road in my high heels - yes - even mice wear high heels when they're young and foolish, make the bus by the tuft of my tail and sit at the back with a good book and eat my lunch on the journey to work.  Once in the City Centre (where else did anyone work in those days? Business Parks were yet to be invented), I would clonk along the pavement, staring in the shop windows at the aspirational pay day purchases, under the subway (long since filled in by Health and Safety), purchase a pocketful of mints (have I ever told you how many fillings I have) and clonk up the office steps just in time to install myself in front of my typewriter (yes, not connected to ANYTHING other than a ribbon) in time for coffee with at least four sugars (back to the fillings again).  This is how everyone worked.  A few years later when I had passed my driving test, I would clumsily clunk the gears and grind my way into my next office - located OUT OF TOWN (progress!) and clonk (still in the high heels) into yet another office, log onto my computer (more progress!)and while DOS booted up (not that much progress, then!) I would go and queue up for a cheese pastie (easier on the fillings).

Then Business Parks happened.  Purpose built complexes complete with inadequate parking - first come, first served.  I even tried getting Edie to lend me one of her stuffed rabbits so I could sit it in the passenger seat and try to sneak into the carshare spots.  I logged onto bigger, faster computers, discovered coffee, and started to lower my heels. Nothing to do with age, you understand.

Then came train travel to exotic locations.  London! Sheffield! Birmingham!  Once I flew to Ireland!  On a little tiny 6 seat plane.  I was still young enough to make the most of the situation, partying with lovely Irish friends and fitting in a bit of work.  I remember that trip very well.  Something awful and very sobering happened in the news.  The date was September 11th.  Where were you?

Anyway I digress.  As I got into my routine this morning, up at 5, wash my whiskers, brush my fur, brush what's left of my teeth, put on my flat travel boots, quick stock check of the travel bags, it occured to me that this is now normal.  To travel not only 5, 15 or even 50 miles to the office but to travel hundreds of miles.  To go by car, by train, by plane.  To set up my office wherever I lay my hat, so to speak.  And do you know what? I love it.  It makes for an interesting life. Not so much a 9-5 as a wherever and whenever. And  am sure I am more productive for it.  No more staggering in late with the minimum of enthusiasm.  No more timing my arrival with the delivery of morning munchies, and certainly no more sugar.  I am a healthier, older and much more focussed and enthused Mouse these days (although perhaps a little less stylish).  Isn't it amazing that we can get better work / life balance, which until a few years ago was just a saying without substance, by timing our work around our lives. It suits me and I find I react much more quickly.

Anyway, oops, time is flying and so must I. No delays today so off I go. 

Maybe time for just one more coffee?

Wishing you all a lovely day,
Mouse xxx

Mouse is on the road again...

Hey hey! Or should that be Hej hej!  Miss Mouse is back on the road! No more silly travel ban.

It's been okay - sort of - doing my job by telephone, conference call and e-mail but there is just something missing - there is something about looking people in the eye, sharing a coffee, sharing frustrations, being able to laugh at the complexity of the Cheese Ordering process and working together to try to make it just a little bit better.

The other aspect of travelling is, well, the actual travelling.  Having two hours of literally airtime, up in the air, as opposed to Mouse Radio, gives my brain a bit of exercise.  Sure, sometimes I read a book - Mouse Mystery is my favourite - or I have a little snuggle sleep, but I also get to think, think and just think some more about how to make the ordering better for the Farmers.

And this also leads me to think about hotels I have stayed in.  I always used to stay in the same one - The Hilton - which sounds very posh but was actually just nice and clean.  Once when I turned up, there was no booking for me and I had to go to a different hotel - that was a RISK - what if there was no cheese? the beds were not nice? or no bath to have a lovely Mouse soak at the end of a busy day?  I found another one though and it's super 70s decor was quite fun. Once, however, I had a nasty shock when I opened my hotel door - a different hotel again, because I was over when a big trade fair was taking place and the usual haunts were all booked up.  The hotel room was small. The view was of a yard. The room was hot and the pipes were noisy.  But that wasn't the problem. There, on the bed, staring at me, were...

...THESE THREE.  Just sitting there.  Just like that!  I was thankful that they weren't cats, but they still scared me out of my fur.  They explained to me that they were for sale and placed there to encourage guilt ridden travellers to purchase them for their children, to compensate for their absent parents.  However, to be placed out in the open in a hotel room where, well, anyone can stay, puts them in a very vulnerable position. You wonder why they are huddled together?

I am travelling back to Sweden next week and I'm trying out yet another new hotel.  This one promises breakfast AND an evening buffet! I have it on good authority from a colleague that the buffet is A-OK, and it is very close to the OST shop just in case I get nibbly.  For those of you who don't know, OST means...

...CHEESE  :-D

Big Cheesy Love
Mouse xx

Mousehog Day...

After a lovely long Christmas break, it's back to work with polished whiskers, slicked back fur, a shiny new diary and a backpack full of enthusiasm and resolutions.

I got back to work a whole 2 days before the Farmers, and most of the Suppliers, so I have a lovely time, tidying up my e-mails, going down the Cheese Order list, looking at the Cheese Order forecast for what should be coming up, and I am prepared and calm.  I write neat lists in my diary and type away on my new shiny laptop. I'm so pleased to have one that fits my paws.

When I last went to Sweden, for the Big Meeting, we decided to hold the Big Meeting every month and that it would be a jolly useful forum to discuss Cheese Orders - both current and the ones coming up.  The Suppliers who keep the cows for the milk for the cheese, and the Suppliers who do the packaging would both come, and the Nice Lady who is the independent body Cheese Integrator would come.  The Rare Beast would come (he is now the Supplier with the Cows - remember?).  All of the farmers would attend - the ones who supply the restaurants, the ones who supply the farm shops, and even the really big wholesale ones, so that we could really understand the cheese requirements in plenty of time and get them ordered.

So, it was agreed.  It was written down and everything.

So I set up the meeting. I invited all of the people I needed to invite.  I booked a big meeting room.  I planned the flights.

And then I got an e-mail from the Chief Farmer:-

From:-Chief Farmer

To:- Mouse

Subject:- Cheese Delivery Meeting

Dear Mouse,

What is this meeting? Who told you to set it up?

Farmer.

My reply:-

From:- Mouse

To:- Chief Farmer

Subject:- Re: Cheese Delivery Meeting

Hello Mr. Farmer Sir,

It is the meeting we agreed on at the Big Meeting.  It was written down.  It is about managing the Cheese Orders.

Mouse.

And then...

From:- Chief Farmer

To:- Mouse

Subject:- Re: re: Cheese Delivery Meeting

Dear Mouse,

Please cancel this meeting.  I will set one up.

Farmer.

I was a little bemused by this, as in the writing down of the original Big Meeting it clearly said:-

Arrange regular Big Meetings - MOUSE.

So - nothing happens for the remainder of the time before Christmas.  This week I get a call from one of the Suppliers with the cows asking me if the Big Meeting is happening.  I explain the situation.  A short while later he calls me back.  The meetings have been arranged.  He is not invited. I am not invited.  The Nice Lady from the Cheese Integration Board is not invited.  My bosses boss has been invited!  The Nice Lady's bosses boss has been invited! The Rare Beast has been invited! A man who has left the company has been invited!

So the meeting planned by the people who own the end to end Cheese Ordering process, who should attend, are not invited, but a random gaggle of people at the wrong level to be effective, but are nevertheless VERY IMPORTANT are invited.

I think I may give up.

And then, from another area, I get a call this morning.  'Mouse - I need to order some Cheese.  I need a specialist blend of Cheese for a huge order, which will span the globe.  I have promised that we will use a special blend of herbs from a 3rd Party Supplier and the Milk and Packaging Suppliers must incorporate this into production.  I haven't written the requirements yet.  We need the cheese in 4 weeks.

Repetitively yours,

Mouse x

The Ghost of Christmas Present...

I did something this year that I haven't done for years.

I took a Christmas holiday.  Or should I say, I am taking a Christmas holiday?  There is still one day left of 2012 and then I get to go to a party with my boss, Edie, and her humans, and sing in the New Year with a thimble full of Sherry.  And then I get another day off.  And then it is back to work.

I am a very lucky Mouse this year.  After thumping away on a massive computer owned by one of Edie's other employees (the human one) I have my own laptop!  Look!  I'm very proud of it and it's just my size.  I wish it had a picture of cheese on it instead of an apple, but apart from that it's perfect.

So I've been thinking about what next year might hold, as we tend to do at this point in the calendar. There are changes afoot - I can smell them (the changes, not the feet).  Working with the farmers has been a bit of a battle in some respects, getting all these tricky changes put in place when the farmers don't want them at all, so I might see if I can so something slightly different.  Or do something differently.  There is a difference. Are you still with me? Will I still be a travelling Mouse? Will I still be travelling to the same places? I plan to do a bit more leisure travelling too, in 2013.  Edie, my boss, keeps promising me a trip to Paris, to something called 'Disney' - she says there is a famous Mouse there.  And she wants to go to two festivals next year, instead of the usual one.  And in February she is taking me to stay in a cottage in a place called Buxton.  Apparently you can buy water there and it's near a town called Bakewell that is famous for cakes.  I like that a lot.  We're going to do some walking in the countryside and then eat a lot of cake.

It's a funny time, Christmas and New Year, and especially these days in between, to reflect on the things, good and bad, that have happened.  Hopes and dreams still not yet realised, friends not seen for too long and time not taken between whizzing about, to just think and be.  These are the ghosts. And the present, apart from the lovely shiny computer, is the time taken to sit and think about slowing down, being a happy little Mouse and enjoying what I have, right now.

So al that remains for 2012 is for me to wish you all a Happy New Year for 2013, be open to opportunities my friends, and count your blessings.

Oh - I've also resolved to type this blog a bit more often.  You'd like that, wouldn't you...?

With a Merry little Mouse dance,
Mouse x

Back to Sweden...

I'm back to being a travelling Mouse!  I knew it would happen soon, and I'm very glad to be back to my travels, although not always for the reasons for them.  

The travel ban is still in place.  So why was I allowed to get on a plane and fly to Sweden?  Well, I wasn't so much allowed, as summonsed...

The cheese order - the one that the Farmers promised to the restaurant by Christmas, before even filling out a Cheese Requisition form and submitting it to me - and which wasn't a standard cheese at all - remember?  If not, go back two or three posts and read up.  I'll wait...

...With me now?  Good.  Well, because of the Big Boss and the complaints from the Farmers that the Cheese just wasn't going to be delivered fast enough, (because, hello, they hadn't ORDERED it!), I had to go over for a meeting with them AND the restaurant to explain the process.

Yes, you read that right.  I, Mouse, had to explain to the restaurant why the non standard cheese that the Farmers hadn't bothered to order in time, would be 'late'.  Well in actual fact it isn't even going to be 'late' because (because of The Big Boss and The Big Noise) the Cheese Suppliers were producing it 'in time' anyway.

So off I went. But I was not alone.

With me, and representing The Big Boss, came my colleague Muttley. He is called Muttley because he likes medals.  Like this Muttley:-

Also with me, is The Rare Beast.  Now you may remember that only a couple of months ago The Rare Beast came stamping and roaring into my world, telling me how he would SORT OUT THOSE CHEESE SUPPLIERS and that I, Mouse, would not get in his way or stop him and of how he would use his big boots to kick anyone who did not do his bidding.  Well I think he must have hurt his foot, kicking against an immovable object because he is moving on.  Yes, The Rare Beast is leaving to become, of all things, a Cheese Supplier! So, with The Rare Beast also comes the boss of The Rare Beast (yes - he has one - a very nice chap), and a lady who will be stepping into his very big shoes with her rather smaller and more gentle feet.

We have done a lot of preparation for this meeting.  We know exactly who said what to who, when and why.  We know when the Cheese Requisition was filled in, we have copies of the additional restaurant additional non-standard specifications and we have a timeline, drawn up by a referee facilitator.  The plan is to walk through the timeline with the Farmers and the Cheese Integrators (The Rare Beast and his team, who interface directly with the Cheese and packaging manufacturers), and decide how we can work better for future Cheese Orders (I already know the answer to this; order your cheese earlier and by the correct process! I may have mentioned this several thousand times, I may have not).

So we walk into the meeting room.  Three hours have been set aside for the trial process analysis.  The first noticeable thing is that there is NOBODY from the team of Farmers Who Order. In other words the people who kicked up the fuss in the first place.  I cast my mind back to many screaming phone calls that left me trembling in my fur.  The chief protagonist is on a 'Learning to Manage Your Team' course in the Outer Hebrides.  The Farmer who promised the order to the restaurant is off sick.  There is no other representative from the team of Farmers Who Order and therefore, the people who have to do things differently in future are not there to hear this.

The facilitator puts his fancy presentation onto the screen. He opens his mouth to speak but before he can utter a word the Big Boss Mr. Moose addresses the table.  He makes it clear that the Cheese Ordering process does not work for him and so he requires us to find a way around it.  Break the process. Cheat. Be a special case.  This is where Muttley steps in.  Muttley does the same job as I do, but in the UK. The Farmers there do as they are told - partly because Muttley is always telling them to, and partly because Mrs. Muttley is one of the Farmers there and if he wants Cheese on Toast for tea, he has to make sure Mrs. Muttley has ordered it in time.

So Muttley steps up and tells them that all the Farmers in the world have to follow this process.  They didn't want to do the cheese production any more, and so they sold the cows, and the manufacturing business, and the wrapping and packaging business, to two separate suppliers, so that they could buy the service back cheaply.  Cheaply is the operative word - the Farmers bought a contract which didn't have manufacturers and wrappers just sitting around awaiting an order.  Therefore planning is paramount.

Muttley paces the room.  He draws diagrams on the whiteboard in red pen.  The Rare Beast senses a rival, and, bearing in mind he is about to become a Cheese Supplier he roars several 'solutions' which involve the Farmers spending more money with the Cheese Suppliers for a better version of the service they are already paying for.  Back and forth it goes, over to Muttley, over to The Rare Beast.  It is a testosterone match.  BAT goes The Rare Beast 'I can solve all your problems, it will cost you more but you will get my personal Rare Beast attention on it'.  BAT goes Muttley 'No!  Planning is the key! Do your planning better.' BAT goes Big Boss Mr. Moose 'But we are so small and so busy.  Why can't Mouse do our planning for us.' BAT goes Muttley 'My Farmers are well trained because I trained them. I can train you too. Just look at my fancy diagrams. The answer is in those scribbles.' BAT goes The Rare Beast 'well of course when I am the Cheese Supplier I will be here all the time making sure you are happy with your Cheese...'

The rest of us can hardly get a word in.

As the meeting ends, some three exhausting hours later, we have a plan.  We will have MEETINGS, says Muttley, every month.  And the Farmers Who Order will hold MEETINGS with me, Mouse.  Remembering that the Farmers Who Order are not actually there, I wonder how this action will get implemented.  And considering that I have been having these MEETINGS for about a year now, I do wonder if anything will change at all.

After the meeting Muttley puts his arm around my shoulders. 'Mouse,' he says. 'I will tell The Big Boss how I have helped you today and I will come back and help you again. I will now go and speak to The Big Boss and I will get the medal catalogue out and choose my medal.  I have earned it today, Mouse.'

I can't help feeling cross right to the end of my whiskers.  One of the quieter members of the team, the boss of The Rare Beast smiles at me. 'Didn't we have that same meeting about six months ago, Mouse?' he says? 'Before The Rare Beast and Muttley?'  Indeed we did, but of course we are not as loud and do not draw so many diagrams.  I sigh, resolve to let things go where they will, and continue doing the best a little Mouse can.

And then something lovely happens, I go out for dinner with all of my lovely Miss and Mr. Moose friends - the ones I have missed during the silly travel ban. This makes the trip worthwhile and makes me hope that the future meetings are agreed to, so that I can keep coming back.

Oh - and I didn't use my fancy lounge pass this time.  I'm saving it for a day when I travel alone, and then I will book in 4 hours before the flight and enjoy every moment.

Fondest Swedish Hugs,
Mouse x

The Big Boss...

Mouse's drawing of The Big Boss

'Dear Mouse, we are pleased to tell you that you have won a free pass to our No. 1 Traveller Lounge at Birmingham Airport.  Please let us know when you will next be travelling.'

This really happened.  This week. And do you know what? despite the Travel Ban I might have to go to Sweden in the next few weeks.  Hoorah!

However, I will have to go because I have been summonsed by the Farmers with the cheese order that went rather awry.  Well, not summonsed exactly, but we are to have a post mortem on the entire process.  Originally there were to be two post mortems, one with the Farmers themselves, and another with the Suppliers who supply the milk for the cheese and the Packaging Suppliers.  However it has now been shortened down to one shorter session with all parties concerned. Because it takes all parties to work together.   Much more sensible.

When you pick it apart, the process with the Suppliers with the Cows and the Packaging Suppliers works though.  It works as it should.  As it was designed to. The contract with the Cheese Suppliers and the Packaging Suppliers is designed to be reactive - the Farmers place their orders, the Suppliers respond.  This is a reasonably priced outsourcing situation.

You can buy a Super Duper Outsourcing Deluxe package where you pay the Suppliers with the Cows and the Packaging Suppliers a lot of money to have cows standing around ready to be milked just in case, and ladies sitting at a long trestle table with rolls of cellophane and tape, and sticky labels, just waiting to package any cheese that might come in.  

The Farmers didn't buy that deal.

However when the latest Cheese order went a bit wrong, because it was complicated and the restaurant wanted fancy ingredients in time for Christmas, and the Farmers had promised this, the Big Bosses got involved.

The Farmer's Big Boss called my boss Edie's boss'e boss.  Do try to keep up.

A lot of screaming and shouting took place.  Some sulking ensued. I had to write a report of everything that had happened so far, and so did The Rare Beast (me and The Rare Beast have long since made friends with each other).  Turns out we had done everything properly and as we should have done (of course! That's what they pay me for!) but do you know what?  The Big Boss then agreed to go to the Big Boss of the Suppliers with the Cows and the Suppliers who do the packaging and miraculously, all the Cheese appeared the next day.

Those of you with small children will, of course, understand that this is like giving screaming children a chocolate bar before dinner, just because the child didn't like the answer 'No'.  

Rewarding bad behaviour.

However, that aside, off I will go to talk about it with the Farmers and I will love being there again.  I really cannot tell you how lovely it is in Sweden and I might even get out to my favourite Cheese Cafe at lunchtime.

I also did have a very good conversation with the Big Boss of the Division of Farmers who supply restaurants.  It is true that fancy cheeses with non-standard ingredients (like maybe chillis or cranberries) ARE needed, of course, and so a standard cheese ordering process might not work for them, but as it is all we have to work with he agreed to order the cheese much earlier on.

I wish I could Fix the World sometimes, but I can't, I'm only a little Mouse.  But I can listen and try to get the Farmers to put in their Cheese Orders earlier, because that is the key.

And - what a lucky little Mouse I am - I get to go in here:-

http://www.no1traveller.com/birmingham-airport-lounge.htm

Be assured - there will be photos.

Tiny hugs,
Mouse xx

A Day in the Life...

My boss, Edie, is a bit of a one for mixed messages. 'Mouse,' she says 'you must not get involved in Cheese orders where less than 500kg of cheese are ordered.  That is what The Rare Beast is there for.  You only get involved in the big orders.  Okay? You deal with The Big Stuff, he deals with the small stuff.  Got it?'

Yep - I've got that, Boss.  However, we currently have what is known in the trade as 'a situation' with a low value, 300kg Cheese Order.  The situation is this:-

The Farmers signed a contract with a restaurant.  The restaurant have menus with very strict cheese requirements.  The Famers agreed to supply that cheese, by a certain date, without bothering to ask me or the Cheese Suppliers first.  When the contract had been signed, the Farmers filled in a Cheese Requirements requisition and sent it through to me, to lodge with the Suppliers. 

When the order was examined, the Suppliers who own the cows noticed that the requirement is for cheese made with soya milk.  The Suppliers who wrap the cheese noticed that this cheese must be shrink wrapped.  Neither are in the standard catalogue of cheese supplies that the Farmers' are supposed to order from.

After much argument, the Suppliers who wrap the cheese decided they didn't want to go to the expense of buying a shrink wrapping machine and declined to offer.  The Suppliers who own the cows said that they could offer, but as the cheese is non-standard there would be a longer lead time to supply it.  They also agreed to shrink wrap the cheese (but were, of course, not allowed to offer this until the Suppliers who wrap the cheese declined).

In the meantime the Farmers have promised the restaurant that they will have their cheese in time for the Christmas menu.

Small Cheese order?  Over to you, Rare Beast. According to our roles and responsibilities I do not get involved.

Until of course, it all starts to go wrong.

The Suppliers who own the cows submit their Cheese Proposal.  When the Farmers see the cost, and the lead times, it slowly dawns on them that they are in trouble.  Rather than keeping close to the Suppliers throughout the process, and managing the altogether unreasonable expectations of the restaurant, the Farmers in charge of ordering have let the cheese tasters have all of the conversations with both the restaurant and the man from the Cheese Suppliers (still with me? try to keep up).

The cheese tasters and the restaurant are only really interested in how the cheese tastes - it doesn't occur to them to talk timelines and other requirements (like the shrink wrapping).

So - this is what happens:-

The head Farmer writes a letter of complaint.  Not to me, his contact in Cheese Governance, not to The Rare Beast, his official contact, and not even to my boss, Edie, but to my boss's boss, Dog Dog.

Instead of replying, Dog Dog passes the complaint to Edie, who passes the complaint, you've guessed it, to me.

'Write me a reply, Mouse.  I want to know what those Cheese Suppliers are going to do about it.'

'But Boss, this is a low value order - shouldn't The Rare Beast...?

'I'm looking at YOU, Mouse.'

Okay.

So I look into it and I discover the facts.  We have a conference with the Farmers and the restaurant owners. The Rare Beast gets very grumpy indeed on this call and I have to resort to sending him an instant message - 'Calm down, Rare Beast.  We are right to tell off the Farmers for their bad planning, but not in front of their customer.'

I have a long and heated discussion with the Farmers and their cheese tasters - who feel that the Supplier who owns the Cows should have talked to the restaurant directly - 'No Farmers, the restaurant owners are YOUR customers.  It is up to YOU to make sure that their requirements are accurately passed through.'

So I pass this information back to Edie. The order was non-standard.  The requirements changed half way through because the Supplier who wraps the cheese declined to offer.  Questions submitted to the Farmers by the Suppliers who own the cows have not been answered. On that basis, I ask, how can I tell the Farmers when they will have their cheese?  They haven't even ordered it yet.

'MOUSE!' says Edie. 'I asked you to tell me when they can have it and you have not done that.'

I consider telling Edie that she is bad as the Farmers, in shouting at me because I convey something that she does not want to hear.

In the meantime you know what I do?  I pass it to The Rare Beast.  I'm going to follow process and he can have it.  Good Luck sorting that lot out, Rare Beast.

But I am sure that he can do it.  Do you know why?  He is travelling to meet the Farmers next week.  As you know, I can't travel due to costs.  I offered to support him on a meeting he is having with a particularly tricky lady Farmer and do you know what he said?

He said 'I don't need you to support me, Mouse.  I'm sure she will respond better to me.  Because I'm a guy.'

He really did.  And he really said 'guy.'

This makes me chuckle.  And don't get me wrong, I'm not cross with Edie - she's a sweetheart - just an under pressure sweetheart.

I am sure it will all blow over and will soon be overtaken by the next crisis, but in the meantime, be careful where you book your Christmas meal - they could be out of Cheese.

With whiskery hugs,
Mouse xx

Absence makes the Farmers stranger...

Get me - doing two blogs in one week again. You can tell I'm not spending half of my life on an aeroplane now eh?

Something funny has started to happen since the travel ban was imposed. I have had my own little mobile phone for a long time - it's very nice although the buttons are a bit big for my paws.  Anyhow, that's not the point.  This phone, although very pretty, never used to ring very much.  The Farmers and the Cheese Suppliers and the Miss Mooses would wait until they saw me, and meetings would be planned and I would attend.

Now it's a case of 'out of sight' but not 'out of mind'.  They still have meetings with me but this is how it happens.

My phone rings.  I answer it. 'Hello, Mouse speaking.'

'Mouse!' bellows the Farmer / Supplier / Miss Moose (except of course, Miss Mooses do not bellow, they speak softly). 'It's me, I'm in a meeting room.  I've got several other people with me.  We have some questions...'

And off they go, question after question. 'The Cheese Suppliers are not working quickly enough.' 'What is the re-order process when we want more Cheese?' 'What if we want a different packaging?' 'What is the name of the Cow supplying the milk for my Cheese?' 'I spoke to the Cheese Supplier and told him we wanted to increase our order, but only the original amount turned up.' etc etc.

All perfectly reasonable, I suppose. But it puts a Mouse on the spot somewhat.

What if I say something that isn't quite correct, or they misunderstand me? What if I don't know the answer?  What if I need to go for a wee and am hopping from paw to paw?

Now I know that when the Farmers made their own Cheese, this is the sort of banter they would have with each other as part of the process.  But it has all changed.  It is no business of the Farmers' which Cow is used for Milk (it says so in the contract - the Cheese Suppliers may use whichever cow they so choose, or a mix of milk from different cows).  There is a process to be followed.  Order increases have to be controlled by a CCR (Cheese Change Request)and go through the system - a chat with Supplier is only that, a chat.

And most of all, where are their good, old fashioned manners?  If you want to ask me all of these questions I am quite happy to answer them IF you:-

Send me a meeting invitation.
Send me your list of questions.
Send me an agenda.
Tell me who will be at the meeting.
Ask me if I want to invite someone.

That way, I can make sure I am prepared.  I can do my homework first, check the contract, ask the Suppliers (or invite them to speak for themselves) and I can make sure I've been for a wee.

It's enough to drive a Mouse to drink...

Hiccup-ingly yours,
Mouse xx